Can you hear my heartbeat?
by SenkoHasegawa
Summary: Yuuri gave a ring to Victor, promises and hearts were broken. Friends unite to help a friend in need. The person you wouldn't expect supports the poor soul who is broken, trying to mend the broken heart. -Can you hear my heartbeat?- the nod of a person -That's strange, because I can't hear it. My heart was broken by someone I thought would never hurt me- and chaos ensued.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, my name is Katsuki Yuri, and I have been training with Victor for a while now. I'm bad under pressure but I try to do my best, my biggest support is my coach. I asked Victor to stay until the GPF, but I lost at the end to J.J and Yurio. J.J won gold while Yurio took second place. I was third and I'm not proud of it. I got third because I'm a failure, I can't do things right and this time was no different, even when I knew Yurio was a tough opponent I was overly confident, almost as confident as J.J was of himself, and that made me fail. I knew I had twisted my ankle after a landing that looked perfect but in reality it wasn't, the pressure on my ankle nearly broke it, but the show must go on.

-Oi, katsudon!- Yurio called me while I was trying not to cry, I had let Victor down. I had promised the gold medal after all.

-Yes, Yurio-chan? - He was royally pissed at my use of "chan" but he was younger than me and although I deeply admired him for all he did for his family, his talent skating and for having Victor with him, I couldn't help give him a smile.

-Give Victor to me- My smile stood in place while I said 'no' with my head. Victor was not mine to give away anyway, he was not a thing.

-You are useless, you lost and we said that the better skater was going to get Victor as a coach; I won although I lost to J.J…but things will be different once Victor becomes MY coach. I can do better than you and you know it- His words hurt like hell, but he wasn't wrong.

-I know, but at the end it is Victor's decision what he plans on doing- My ankle was killing me, my fake smile was taking everything of me to just not crumble right there. Not with Victor coming to us.

-Yuri! Yurio!- He really had the worst timing possible, still I smiled a bit more for him, greeted him with a hug and we sat down on a bench near the entrance.

-Victor, you will be my coach, right? - Yurio got straight to the point. I knew he did all this in order to be number one and be the pillar of his home since his grandpa was sick and everything depended on him.

-Of course, I am a man of my word after all- The satisfied smile Yurio gave me, how Victor said 'sorry' time after time and finally leaving with Yurio, and my own mental state crashed once I was alone.

Unlike the past, now I didn't lock myself in the bathroom, I just sent messages saying farewell and saying I would be returning to Japan, to my hometown in Hasetsu the day after tomorrow. I planned to just rest a day and go to the doctor and go home. Injuries could be bad if they weren't treated properly after all.

The injury was worse than I first thought. After taking out my skating shoes, I noticed how red and swollen it was, just standing up hurt like hell. The pain was killing me after putting so much pressure after seeing Victor go.

At the doctor I finally cried. He told me I had to rest a few weeks, a month if necessary. I wasn't getting any young, injuries now took more time to heal and my mental stability was broken. The doctor thought I was crying because of the pain so he gave me some painkillers and that almost made me laugh, because I knew that no amount of painkillers were going to make my heart stop hurting.

I returned home and in a week I started gaining weight, I stopped skating and I stopped doing things I loved. Victor in more times that I can admit tried calling me, he even sent text messages, same Yurio and Phichit. But I couldn't answer them.

I was depressed.

Trying to appear happy for Phichit on Messenger or even trying to sound cheerful was bad enough and that was the reason I deleted everything I had, all my social networks and I even cancelled my phone number. I knew my family was getting worried since I became a hikkikomori, but I couldn't care less.

I left my home without telling anybody. I was scared, alone and didn't know what to do. Everybody around me was what I called "a genius" since they could do things I couldn't. A week had passed since I cut off communication with everybody, a week that made me realize nobody was going to come running asking me what was wrong with me.

I was alone.

I cried.

-I wonder, if I disappear, will they notice? - It was just a murmur, but I was seriously considering disappearing from their lives. I was a coward so I couldn't commit suicide but damn, the idea keep going around my head.

-I can try- the first cut didn't hurt, it was refreshing. But one wasn't enough, soon a second, a third, a fourth, and more followed. The red pool of blood at my sides was the only evidence I needed.

-I can do it- The cuts were going deeper as I was thinking the cuts didn't hurt. That was until Minami came and hugged me from behind, screaming things like "you bastard, you never came to my birthday party, I was waiting for you" and how he missed me and how it was impossible for him to call me or contact me since all my social networks were dead and my phone number cancelled.

He finally noticed the blood and he screamed bloody murder.

-You are going to leave me deaf- I told him in what I thought to be a joking manner.

-I don't care… the cuts are deep…- he said trying to stop the blood.

-It would have been best if you didn't find me…How did you find me anyway? - His face was dark, angry, but his eyes were so sad, that they didn't match the joyful Minami my mind remembered him.

-Don't say more- he tried to make me quiet but I was already in silence, talking became difficult, I felt weak and everything keep moving around me, he was younger than me, he looked terrified and tried to help me not to lose more blood.

-Sorry- I lost consciousness. I remember Minami shouting things, hitting my head so hard on a rock causing more blood to leave my body, although this time it was in an accident, and I remember how scared he looked, it made me think that someone did care. Even if he was a junior to me.

Minami contacted everyone and in a few moments everyone knew that Yuri had started cutting himself, how he became a hikkikomori and how he was now at the hospital. All the skaters that knew him, even if they weren't friends, decided to visit him.

The first person Yuri saw was a very angry Yurio.

-Oi pig, you are finally awake, about time- I tried to remember his name or even why he was so hostile with me but nothing came to my mind.

-Yeah…Good morning…Who might you be?- My question caused him to glare more and answering me instead with 'you should know' and a 'stop joking, it isn't funny' but I wasn't joking.

-I am not joking. Why are you so hostile with me? Were you… not my friend? Why else would you come to see me if not? Or maybe you think all I do is to piss you off?- I was getting angry with every second until a second person entered. He was so handsome.

-Yurio, don't make Yuri angry, he is in a hospital after all- A small 'che' was heard and the second person laughed. He seemed a few years younger than me.

-Thank you… What's your name? - And his smile disappeared. Was it something I said?

-Phichit- He looked about to cry, but Yurio took him outside and called a doctor. Minami arrived with my parents, I couldn't remember them. Not even them.

-Let's begin the introductions! My name is Katsuki Yuri, according to the doctor anyways, nice to meet you! - I tried to sound cheerful but in reality I was nervous.

-I'm Phichit, we were friends…- he shook my hand and kissed my cheek. The action made Yurio and Minami blush; the kiss took me by surprise too.

-All of us are skaters like you, ice skaters- said Minami as if that explained everything.

-And I'm your rival- The blond one said. The one Phichit had called Yurio.

And lastly a man out of breath arrived panting so hard that I thought he was about to faint or have an attack.

-Yurio! Here you are! And Yuri! What happened to you? - He said while checking out my injuries.

-I don't know what happened or who are you but please don't touch me- The silver haired looked hurt but his touch hurt me too. My memory might be lost but my body remembered.

-What…? - And the little ones explained the situation to him and my parents. They had cried so hard that I felt bad about that, even if I knew it wasn't my fault.

My ankle got better in two weeks, same two weeks I stayed at the hospital trying to remember who everybody was, but I could hardly remember how everybody was called. The silver haired guy was Victor, the cute boy that found me was Minami and the one that called himself my best friend was Pichit. There were others, from different nationalities too; I was honestly surprised by that.

Phichit took me home and decided to stay with me, he told me everything about my ice skating and how was the GPF, the one I couldn't win gold, although he congratulated me for winning bronze. Everybody took care of me, since Minami told them about my cutting habits, of course I couldn't remember even that. Why would I want to cut myself? What was so bad that I needed that?

It was Seung Gil the one to tell me why. It shocked me since I believed he would never speak to me, he was always serious, looking like he was mad or something.

-So…Yurio "won" Victor as a coach? Why would that make me feel bad? You did mention that since the beginning both, Yurio and I, knew about Victor being coach of only one of us- I said trying to make sense, but couldn't. How can a man have such power over me? Why was he so important to me?

-…- I probably made Seung-oppa mad with all my questions. He wasn't saying anything.

-It's not like…I loved Victor or something- I said trying to joke, but Seung's face told me everything.

-Oh gosh, I did love him, right? - He didn't answer vocally; he just nodded while touching my hand.

-The two of you, were like the perfect couple, although as far as I know you weren't official. He kissed you on the ice ring, but when you lost to Yurio he simply told you good bye- his words hurt a lot. Did I mean so little to someone who was willingly kissing me?

-Maybe we weren't the perfect couple. Because even then I wouldn't hurt the one I love- he nodded in understanding. So I was right, he had hurt me and didn't even care.

-You… lost your memories, you can start again, you know? - He showed a very sincere desire to help me, so I hugged him, a little flashback came back to me and I laughed a little.

-Are you going crazy on me? - His eyebrow was raised.

-I think I remembered something. Have I hug you before? Because I kind of feel like I did and you were stiff as a board- I said trying not to laugh but his face was priceless.

-Ah… That time you went hugging everyone. Yurio even ran away before you could come near him- Poor guy, it looked as if I had traumatized him.

-Everyone? Did I won or something? - He told me and my heart broke, it was always about him, about Victor.

-It was because you passed to the GPF- he explained. Still, it didn't look like it was a nice memory for him, so I didn't push it.

-Thank you for telling me, Phichit would never tell me something like that and Minami always stutters when he speaks to me- he finally laughed.

-The poor guy likes you a lot, can you blame him? - He said laughing a little, and I couldn't stop my own laughter.

-No, I guess I can't- Seung-oppa caught my attention; he spoke only the necessary but always with the truth.

-I guess I should let you rest… Do you want to return to ice skating? - He sounded doubtful, almost scared of my answer.

-Sure, but you need to teach me how to skate- he agreed, we shook hands and everything seemed so normal that I wasn't worried.

I wasn't worried but Yurio and Victor were outside listening to everything. Victor had his hands in fist, he looked mad and Yurio was trying to calm him.

-You lost him, Victor Nikiforov. He is going to be mine. Stay away- was all Seung Gil murmured before disappearing at night.

Seung Gil did as he told me and tried to teach me how to skate without my glasses.

-Sorry, without my glasses I'm almost blind, I move from memory since I can memorize the ice ring- I told him after the third time my glasses fell of skating and I was getting frustrated. But he shook his head.

-Take my hand, follow my steps- and I did as he requested. It was easy to follow him that way, Minami even cheered for us and told me I should be the best skater he knew since I was always skating without my glasses, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that I probably was skating using contacts.

But now I could skate without glasses. I could do it. And it was all thanks to Phichit, Seung Gil and Minami. Yurio and Victor still came to visit us but after watching us interact they returned to Russia.

Still I had some questions in my mind, sometimes I had flashbacks and I wasn't very fond of them. They made me dizzy, and in some cases they made me mad at myself for not remembering. Recently I remembered how Victor cheered for me, kissed me and hugged me before a presentation.

If he did love me so much, why wasn't he here right now? I knew he cared for Yurio and I even recognized Yurio as a very good skater, but still if you love someone you don't leave them alone. Why did he leave me? Was I not good enough?

-I… don't want to remember- I finally confessed to Phichit.

-Why? I thought you were interested in knowing more about Victor- he sounded truly confused.

-Yes, but the more I remember, the more it hurts. And right now I'm happy with Seung-oppa, you and Minami, you all have been very nice to me. And I… think I'm starting to fall in love with Seung-oppa…He doesn't say much but is always by my side, answers my questions and is very supportive of me- I was ranting, playing with my fingers and Phichit noted that.

-Well, he may not be a playboy like J.J, and not very vocal as Minami, but he is charming. He is a dear friend and I support you two- Phichit hugged me and I cried.

-Did Victor leave me because I was such a failure? I have read about how I was skating, what an utter disaster I am, how I was damaging Victor since nobody recognized my efforts… In reality, he grew tired of me because I was useless, right? I mean, Yurio is great, so young too and he even makes better presentations than I- Phichit hit me on the cheek, not very hard but not very soft either.

.NOT. - His tone of voice sounded mad, I didn't dare to question if he was mad at me or at Victor. He was holding me so much that I was glad I wouldn't break easily.

-Yet, my coach left me for a younger one when he was sure he loved me- My sarcastic response didn't make Phichit happy but a little sigh escaped his mouth.

-Victor is an idiot. No wonder you eliminated all your contact information. If he is as bad as I imagine, then you did great- he told me how sometimes Victor called everyone to keep updated since he got word of my cutting habit and depression.

-Still… I like how he skates, probably that won't change ever- My little laugh made Phichit happy, because at least I didn't want to quit skating. And quite honestly with Seung-oppa I loved skating, however I knew it couldn't be forever, not even Victor stood with me forever.

The next morning I did my usual routine and went to skate, Seung-oppa was already waiting quietly for me, Yuko tried talking to him but failed since he not even once looked at her or told her anything.

-Thank you for being with me… I'm sure you want to return to Corea- I said thanking him for everything. Maybe he took it the wrong way or something because next thing I knew he had me in his arms, his hold very strong.

-I won't leave. I won't be like him- We both knew who he was referring to.

-Really? - I hated the hopeful tone of voice I unconsciously let out, but I so wanted to believe in him.

-Really- And he kissed me.

We both didn't know it but Yurio, Victor and Yuko saw the kiss.

-Yuuuuri- Yurio shouted from where he was. Seung and I got separated with big blushes and in my case a big smile.

-Yurio- I greeted him and Victor, still every time I was with him I was so weak. This time was different. The moment Victor hugged me I lost consciousness. I began to remember while distant voices called my name.

I woke up while being held by Seung-oppa over a bench. Everyone that saw me collapse was near me.

-Uhm… sorry? - I said while Seung Gil played with my hair, not saying anything, but it wasn't necessary, his eyes told me everything. He truly believed I was going to choose victor.

Victor hugged me trying to separate Seung and I, but I didn't let him, I even went closer to Seung Gil, to the surprise of the later.

-Oi katsudon, don't scare us like that- Yurio seemed like someone ready to call 911.

-Sorry, I just… remembered everything, I guess? - I tried to explain while Victor was very happy and tried to be closer to me but he didn't manage to be so he excused himself.

-Want to rest? - Seung was being nicer than ever.

-Probably? - I was so unsure that he laughed and let me rest while calling everyone. Phichit came from my home to the ice castle in less than 5 minutes. Everyone was happy except me, since I now remembered why I was depressed. I had lost the GPF and that implied that the rings Victor and I used as engagement rings, were invalid, he even left me to train Yurio after how bad I messed up my presentation. Since he knew I lost, he took off the ring, all the promises and happy times and only I was left wearing a ring. Only I was naïve enough to believe he would come back after a day.

I was brave enough to smile.

-I'm really ok. And yes Phichit, I remember all you did in the past so no more blackmailing me! - He laughed and declared me sane enough to hold a conversation.


	2. Chapter 2 - Victor's POV

Can you hear my heartbeat?  
Part II

Hello let me introduce myself. My name is Victor Nikiforov, I am an ice skater that has won 5 times the GPF. I will tell you a little story of a katsudon that seduced 'the most handsome single man on earth' according to some people.

Usually people are very cautious around me, since I'm famous and I am always surrounded by all kinds of people. At the last GPF I met a Japanese skater, his name was Katsuki Yuri. Since most people are timid with me I was gladly surprised when he came to me, danced with me and even asked me something in Japanese. I guess my face reflected my lack of understanding since he asked me again, this time in English, to coach him, to be his couch.

Most of the time I am a pretty bad drinker myself, taking pictures and hugging everyone near me, so I decided to give it a chance, however the boy disappeared the day after that. How could he?! I even lost motivation to create difficult choreographies on ice; honestly I was getting mad at the boy and at myself, since I let it affect me so much.

That was until I saw the video, the boy of the video was probably a few pounds heavier that the Yuri that I remembered but he was still the same boy, his face also reflected the gained weight but his dance to the music was captivating, probably more than when he danced on the pole with Chris. I still remember that dance and have the videos to probe I wasn't drunk.

After a few words with my coach, I decided to go to Japan. He was livid, he even told me to think it carefully and have a better plan. Usually I forgot all my promises, all the people around me know that, however this time I did not forget and even crossed the ocean to be with him, but he had forgotten all about that night, since he was so drunk that his memory was fine until the beginning of the banquet.

To say I was surprised is an understanding. I was furious, but I still kept my promise even if only I remembered it. I noticed how he was easily influenced by external factors like the crowd cheering his rival, not getting an excellent grade; he was so self-conscious that it hurt to even look at him. Gradually we somewhat overcame that.

That was until my cute, little kohai followed me to Japan. Yakov called and requested me to make Yurio return home, to Russia, with him. I had to agree, Yakov was a great coach for Yurio, so I tried to comply. But it was easier said than done.

The triplets that stayed at the Ice Castle, Yurio, Yuri and practically everyone in town decided to do a match to see who I would coach. I already decided but both parties looked so fierce that I had to comply so I did the choreography of Eros and Agape. This mind you, made me laugh when they choose the exact same opposite one of what I thought.

Yuri wanted to do Agape? Really? After the lap dance he gave me and how shamelessly flirted with me in front of everybody? Although considering Yurio's personality it's no wonder he wanted Eros, but I still think he is very young to try "the sexual love", after all he is like my little brother and I don't even want to imagine _him_ in that situation. Ever.

Yuri won and Yurio requested the revenge, which Yuri accepted out of courtesy. The final match was going to be at the GPF. Yurio didn't have many problems to enter the GPF considering last year efforts, but it was the complete opposite for Yuri. He had to overcome many rivals.

I still think that Minami, Phichit and everybody else did an awesome job. I, as a coach, can't say the same. I tried to make Yuri better even if it meant playing with his feelings. Once he even cried in front of me requesting to believe in him, unaware that I already did. That boy was truly blind, either that or an idiot.

As a sign of our promise to get gold, he got me "something round and golden". My first thought was he was offering me the golden medal, but he got me instead a ring. It was a pair so we had one each. I'm not very sweet so this gesture was a bit over the top but I agreed since a little motivation to the boy wouldn't hurt.

I was so mistaken.

The GPF was very competitive, J.J, Chris and many other experienced skaters were on the ring and honestly if Yuri got even the third place would be a great improvement considering he was the last skater, unable to classify last time. This time he had the experience, the confidence, but it still wasn't enough. He got third place but only because J.J's and Yurio's presentations had more technical difficulties.

The poor boy was crying. I couldn't believe it but I still promised Yurio and I felt bad about having broken the first promise I made with the boy back in Russia. So when Yurio came to us after winning silver, all I did was answer that I was a man of my word so I planned on keeping the promise.

Yuri seemed ready to cry but this was what we had agreed since the beginning. So I left the next day without even saying goodbye. Yurio pestered me about the katsudon and telling me how awesome is to have me as a coach. I still don't think my abilities as a coach are better that Celestino's or Yakov's one, but his words made me smile.

This little kitten has a lot of faith in me, and I plan on make him proud of me being his coach.

While being Yuri's coach all I did hear was how great I was and how noble of me to train a mediocre skater such as him. While I agree that he isn't a genius like some other skaters I also admit he isn't a complete failure so I plan on training Yurio to the best of my abilities and prove them wrong.

Days turned weeks. Since I left without even saying goodbye I believed Yuri was cutting me off, since not even one of my messages or calls had been answered. And when I thought that the drunken Yuri asking me to be his coach was all my imagination, then I got a call at 3am (on a freaking Sunday! How dare they wake me up?!) from Minami.

The little one tried to speak in English but he sounded so scared. I tried to wake up and think what time was in Japan, and it was still early, only 9am. But nothing prepared me to what I heard. Yuri with cuts, tons of cuts over the ice ring, he seemed unconscious and he didn't know what to do or who to call. So I guided the poor boy so he could help Yuri.

After calming the boy, I decided to wait a few minutes, it was still early but I decided to tell Yurio about Yuri. He got pissed since I woke him up at 5am on a Sunday, but decided to come with me to visit Yuri even when he was still angry for being woken up so early on a weekend. At the hospital I lost sight of Yurio so I went running all over the hospital until I found Yuri's room.

-Yurio! Here you are! And Yuri! What happened to you? - Nothing prepared me to what I heard. Amnesia? Really? What kind of joke was this one? After waking up Yuri seemed like ready to attack if pissed off, so I shut up. Sadly Yurio wasn't that clever and they argued.

When Yuri answered my question, I couldn't believe my ears. He didn't even want me to touch him, as if I would hurt him. In the past I didn't raise my hand to him so it made me wonder what did happen in order for him to tell me that. Not even once I hit him, not even when he told me he didn't remember asking me last year to be his coach and that provocative dance he did to me.

Minami took me out to explain what happened.

-Thank you for helping me! I didn't know who to call and ended calling everyone I had on my phone! After your call I managed to get to Phichit and the two of us could bring him here! Thank you- He bowed a thousand times, but I didn't do anything worthy of it.

-No problem, I'm glad to see you calmer. - We wanted to continue talking when Yurio interrupted our conversation to ask if Minami was the reason he was woken up so early on a weekend. Things started to get out of control so I finally decided to have Yurio return with me to Russia since Yuri was out of danger.

I caught sight of the ring. He still wore that? I didn't use mine since I knew he had lost. Our promise to get gold was broken so there was no meaning in me wearing a ring and I didn't want people to misunderstand why I had a ring in the first place, since last time Phichit told a whole restaurant that Yuri and I got married just because he saw two rings.

A few weeks had passed and it was time for Yuri to be released so Yurio and I decided to visit without prior notice. Kids, it's bad to interrupt and eavesdrop but how could we not do it when Seung Gil, the ice prince, was fucking kissing Yuri as if there was no tomorrow and he was responding quite nicely too!

I wanted to do something, separate them and claim Yuri as mine, alas, he wasn't mine to claim and Yurio made me remember that quite painfully when he shouted and the two of them separated themselves quite flustered. Their lips were shinning. I was going to destroy Seung Gil.

Just when I was about to confront the guy, he opened the door completely and came out of the room. He looked livid, for a man called the ice prince, it was rare of him to show any emotion, but the emotion he showed and how he told me basically to fuck off and disappear from Yuri's life was pissing me off. Why the hell should I do what he says? Who is he to tell me what to do?

Yurio and I returned to Russia soon after that. I was still mad at the Korean so I decided to visit Yuri from time to time. Yuro seemed to accept this and even he came with me from time to time.

We visited again and with the help of Yuri's sister we went to the ice castle since it seems like Seung Gil decided to teach Yuri how to skate. I still couldn't believe the amnesia part, which seemed like a joke to me. Still, Yuuko told me where they were practicing and Yurio and I went to greet the two skaters, and there we saw it. A fucking kiss.

Yurio was the one to shout them, they separated and their faces were completely red. They came to us and I first greeted Seung Gil.

-It's good to see you well, hello Yuri- I said embracing Yuri, but I panicked when he lost consciousness. Seung Gil separated us quite brusquely and after a few minutes we were sitting on a bench, Yuri's head was on the lap of the Korean and Seung Gil was hugging him as if Yuri was very dear to him.

Yuri still had the bad habit of saying "sorry" for everything, because the first words he said to us were those. I tried to hug him, but he refused. He refused my hug! The little rascal! How dare he?! All I ever did was to show support, hell I even coached him when not even he believed in himself! And this is what I get in return? To see him cuddling with the Korean? I was royally pissed, still I tried to be diplomatic.

-It's good to see you better. Don't scare us again, Yurio seemed ready to call an ambulance- I said in a joking manner and Yurio almost hit the back of my head with his hand. Phichit and the rest arrived a few minutes later and everyone laughed at the exchange between Phichit and Yuri.

I was getting curious so I glanced to Yuri's hand and the ring was still in its rightful place. I wanted to ask about the ring and what the planned of doing but nothing prepared me to what Yuri did in front of so many friends.

He gave me the ring back while smiling.

-What do you mean you are giving this back to me? This is yours! - I said trying to guess what was happening but Yuri negated with his head and told me that the ring was a symbol. A symbol of a promise he couldn't make true. He couldn't give me the gold medal at the GPF because he wasn't a genius like Yurio, he was full of mistakes and he was so full of himself because honestly believed that we could get gold.

.Hell.

-Still, it is your ring. I still have mine- even when I didn't wear it. He didn't seem convinced. And frankly trying to convince him was getting on my nerves. Why does he doubt me now? I have never given him a reason to doubt me.

Yurio started talking.

-Victor, leave it. The katsudon is stupid- Seung Gil seemed ready to hit Yurio. –After all, he doesn't believe you even when you haven't given him a reason to doubt you. If _that i_ sn't stupid then I don't know what stupid is- the silence was unbearable.

I nodded. He was right. Yurio seemed to understand because he suggested us to return home, to Russia, and I happily complied. I couldn't stand another moment of doubt from Yuri, not when I gave him no reason to doubt me.

My moral and emotional support was Yurio, who was cursing everyone due to how badly they were looking at us after talking with Yuri about the rings. I took out the neckless I was wearing under my clothes and there it was. The ring. I took it out carefully and turned to Yurio.

-I don't need it anymore- the ring was now in Yurio's hand. He clenched his hand in a fist and looked at me. I mean, he really looked at me.

-You can cry, old man- A laugh escaped, to be comforted by my junior should be a shame, but in his own way Yurio was worried about everyone, if not, he wouldn't have come to Japan to see how Yuri was doing or even trying to console me, in his own way.

-Thank you Yurio. I owe you one this time- I hide my face in his neck, I'm pretty sure he could feel my teardrops falling in his neck, but I still refused to let out any sound that indicated I was crying.

-Crybaby- He gave me a soft pat on my head and I fell asleep holding him. I used sunglasses to hide the fact I had cried. I had a terrible headache, Yurio didn't say anything but at the airport he gave me a bottle of water and two pills.

I took them grateful.

I was thinking about Seung Gil and Yuri. Why were they close? If somebody must be close to the Japanese skater then it should be either Phichit or Minami, since both of them talked a lot with Yuri. But, why Seung Gil?

Nothing made sense.

Was Yuri trying to give me back the ring as a sign that he was ready to move on? To forget about me? To… fall in love with Seung Gil? I couldn't believe my own theories. But apparently Yurio thought the same.

-Give it up, Victor- I understood Yurio was right with those words but I still couldn't give Yuri up.

-If you continue being pathetic just because a pig rejected you, then I will leave you too. I do not want to be with someone swallowing in self-pity like you are doing it right now! - I completely understood his point of view, in other time those would have been my own words.

-You are right, sorry and thank you Yurio- he smiled and hugged me.

-Let's continue training. You have a GPF to win- Yurio seemed so happy that I did my best to coach him; we created a very hard routine and somehow we managed to create a perfect opportunity to win the GPF the next year. Yurio was truly a genius that wanted to win and even when he knew he was a genius he also trained hard.

Feelings were a truly amazing thing, because you see, a few weeks ago I was devastated by the fact that Yuri wanted to truly end everything, without giving me even a chance to explain, and now I was quite happy with Yurio practicing his routine for the GPF while he told me all about his new friends, among them Otabek . I would like to say I wasn't jealous, but the truth was that I was jealous since Yurio managed to do things I couldn't.

For me ice skating became hard, with no motivation, no creativity, I didn't even want to win. So, the chance to teach, to motivate, to improve someone whose motivations were high, was a victory. Of course Yakov was mad at me for throwing all my achievements out of the window, but I wanted to pass my knowledge to a new generation and Yurio was willing to do it.

At first he confessed to me he wanted to do it because he loved me. I was scared, he was still so young that I couldn't truly believe he was in love with me, it probably was just a crush, but when he told me that his crush was Otabek but he truly did love me then I lost it. When did my little Yurio grow so much? When did I not notice he was becoming a man? A very beautiful man I might add.

I didn't want to crush his feelings so I set him a bet, the same bet I did with Yuri. If he wins the GPF then I would give him an opportunity. He accepted. It was going to be a very interesting GPF since Seung Gil was training with Yuri and very interesting rivals were going to appear. As a sign of faith in Yurio, I decided to give my golden ring to Yurio. Yurio understood what that meant and accepted it with a very serious face.

-Victor, I will not be responsible if the pig is crushed since I'm planning on winning- he sounded so confident that I smiled.

-Go ahead, win the first place Ice Tiger- My smile finally started to reach my eyes, Yurio let out a soft "che" and showed me the complete performance we had been practicing. It was breathtaking.


	3. Chapter 3 - Victor's POV

**Can you hear my heartbeat?**  
 **Part III: Victor Nikiforov**

The GPF was around the corner, all the skaters were in the same place and it was creating an awesome tension. More than ever since now Minami was dancing on the ring as if it were the most natural thing ever, Phichit captured the hearts of the audience with little fan service, Chris had created an even more suggestive dance than last year, Yurio debuted last year so this year he was doing a new topic which was "freedom", but Yuri and Seung Gil had the eyes of everybody.

Yuri was skating without glasses or contacts; it was only visible due to how he couldn't walk on his own to the ring. However once he was on the ring his expressions changed so suddenly that I couldn't believe it. His first song was "Let it go" from Frozen. His movements made me see his heart covered in snow, as if he were alone. He was skating around the ring as if begging to belong on the ring. His jumps were perfect and as if he were the protagonist he grew more confident with every note. I didn't expect him to sing along while skating, jumping and even encouraging the audience to clap, sing and watch him.

It was simply breathtaking.

After the first round it was obvious he was in first place because now he not only managed to do an awesome work with the audience, but also his technical skills were no match, so many difficult jumps one after another. He truly was a monster. Just how much stamina did he have? I already knew he had a lot of stamina, but this level was simply unheard of! Yurio and Yuri were just apart by a point. The next round was going to be the grand finale. And both of them had very good choreographies.

Yuri had to choose the fifth symphony.

This time he was skating while looking at Seung Gil and me.

He no longer had his ring. It was as if he was telling me "you lost me, Victor", which I had to agree. I did lost him because when I wanted to return he already had Seung Gil at his back, and he was doing an even better job than I supporting him. His music and dance were in perfect synchrony. To be able to jump in complete synchronization with the music while interpreting how torn he was between Seung Gil and me, to convey his message. His decision was final. He had already chosen and it wasn't me he had picked. He chose Seung Gil.

The Korean was looking at me as if telling me "you heard him", so full of pride. I just smiled while encouraging the Korean to go to the meet and kiss to greet the winner. Because even if Yurio performed his song to perfection, he was going to win the second place and I knew that just because I had seen the passion Yuri put. The difference between Yuri and Yurio was abysmal. One point turned out to be a difference of 15 points. To say the younger was fuming was an understanding. He was furious but still congratulated Yuri since he knew better than anyone that Yuri was a fearsome competitor. Even more than me, the problem just was his confidence. I was very confident in myself but Yuri wasn't, however Seung Gil seemed to be a positive influence in that aspect.

At the interview Yuri gave us an even bigger surprise. When being interviewed he decided to talk about his feelings. And everything he said was like a knife twisted around my heart. He decided to talk about me, him and everyone around him. I can still remember every word said at the interview since the silence after he spoke was a big impact.

 _-Mr. Katsuki, could you tell us why Victor Nikiforov isn't your coach anymore?- a brave journalist asked, only to be met by the eyes of Seung Gil as if he were about to kill him, but Yuri stopped him just with a touch of his hand._

 _-He isn't my coach anymore. Yuri and I had a bet, at that time he won the right of Victor being his coach.- How could he said that so easily was beyond me, however that was the truth._

 _-But you were wearing matching rings; surely you were more than coach and pupil, were you not? - Another journalist asked pointing him how he wasn't wearing the ring anymore. This was becoming difficult to watch._

 _-I do not know. I mean, sure we had matching rings and at some point I truly believed we were more than just coach and pupil. He was my idol on ice so of course I wanted to be more than just a pupil to him…however we never voiced what we were. After I lost my memory and got it back with the help of my friends I noticed we never really talked about it. So I gave Victor my ring. He didn't wear his once he became Yuri's coach, so I returned my ring as a symbol of the promise I couldn't make true. I wasn't the best. - At this point Seung Gil was at his side, touching so devoted Yuri's hand that even I felt envious of his actions since that significant touch was telling Yuri 'you are the best, he was just an idiot'. And he wouldn't be wrong. What kind of man in his right mind let go of a beautiful being such as Yuri? It seems only me._

 _-I understand. You were just used by Nikiforov. Once you were no longer of utility to him, he went to the next promising skater he could find, in this case young Yuri.- The journalist went on taking notes and looking for theories about my choice of skaters. When in reality I was only choosing to fulfill my promise to young Yurio._

 _-I can't speak on Victor's place but it is true that Yuri and I had a bet about who was going to get coached by Victor. Yuri got second place, I got third. He won fair and square so it is no wonder Victor left the very next day without saying anything. He had a new job with a very capable skater, because even I can see Yuri's potential. I just won today because I wanted to give Seung Gil the gold medal. I wanted to give it to him for sticking with me after he saw me depressed after Victor left, for being with me when I had no memory, for being my support in this dark time, for being strong for me, for taking care of me and… for stealing my heart. Thank you Seung-oppa, this medal is for you because for me, you are the best. I love you- the amount of flashes and questions and how Seung Gil was caught off guard was priceless. It became chaotic once the journalist saw me at the far end. If it weren't for that interruption I would have laughed at the face Seung Gil made at the love confession of Yuri._

 _-Victor Nikiforov! A comment about Katsuki's victory! And about why you left without even saying goodbye to the skater? - said a journalist near me. Damn, couldn't they take a clue? Instead I decided to answer. At least until the part I felt confident._

 _-He was perfect; he deserves the medal….About the comment of me leaving without saying anything….It is true that I left without saying anything. That's all- Yuri seemed disappointed of such a short answer but I couldn't say more, my voice was breaking as my heart was telling me to cry. The journalist wanted more information but their attention got back to the winner since he seemed so in love with Seung Gil that even the journalist wondered about that. And I couldn't talk about our love, since now wasn't "our" but "their" love._

I got curious and today that interview got a special feature in the newspapers and local media, the headlines went from "Katsuki Yuri and Seung Gil, the new golden pair?!" to "Victor Nikiforov likes young men, is his new lover Yuri Plisetski?" Honestly, the last headline was a rant about how I was a playboy that seduced the best skaters just to break them. Yurio even talked to the media to put an end to this. He told them I was only his coach, his boyfriend was Otabek and they shouldn't mistake that. To say that Otabek was surprised is an understanding.

However I got an idea and decided to speak with Yurio. I was going to be his coach but I was also going to be competing versus all of them. I had already my song "Rescue" from KAT-TUN, a Japanese band. This was going to be my way to defy Yuri and Yurio. This was my way of telling them that I was still a living legend and I still can compete.

The next GPF was going to be very interesting indeed. Because even if it was going to take a lot of me I could show them the fearsome skater I could be if provoqued. I had chosen a Japanese band to defy Yuri and my next song was from a Korean band (TVXQ) singing in Japanese (doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou) as a way to oppose to the relationship Seung Gil had with Yuri.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy for Yuri, but not for Seung Gil, the boy made me mad to even look at him. Yurio seemed to understand my choice and supported it, we even got a training schedule were he could go on dates with Otabek while I practiced my routines. My gala song was a mystery to Yurio since I wanted it to be a surprise (although it seemed Yurio was certain that mine would be yet another song in Japanese, I don't know why…Well, maybe it had to do with a certain Japanese skater we both know, but still! That boy needed to have more faith in me!).

Finally I had hit the "send" button in order to have my complete setlist for the GPF, first was Rescue (a song I decided to adapt in order to show my feelings about skating. With the lyrics I could make how skating at first was hard for me since I was alone, with only Yakov to take care of me, and how even when I knew Yuri and Yurio I was still alone since everybody just viewed me as the five times champion of the GPF), then was Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou (Honestly, it was hard for me not to cry during my performance, since I honestly wanted to say that phrase to Yuri "Why did I have to fall in love with you?", I guess he knew the song was for him since Seung Gil looked at me as if I were a pain in the ass, but I couldn't care less, I liked Yuri and before everything happened I truly loved him) and finally my last song was I'll survive. I had chosen it because no matter what hardships I faced, I was sure I would somehow survive. At least I thought of myself as a survivor. Maybe I wasn't as charismatic as Minami with that song but I still tried to do my best and somehow even Yurio was surprised.

-Close your mouth Yurio, flies are going to enter your mouth- He quickly closed his mouth and I laughed. I confessed to him that Yuko was a great help with watching my choreographies and giving her input about what could be changed or what she would prefer as a part of an audience. I never cared about my audience, always was about the judges but this time I decided to give it a try and I understood why she was important to Yuri. She could be a brilliant coach if she wanted but she decided to only have an ice ring of her own since she had a family to take care of.

To say the least I wanted something similar, however no could do. I knew Yurio and Otabek were happy and that kind of made me happy too, since I couldn't make Yurio happy, I was only his childhood idol. Yuri and Seung Gil were doing fantastic, and as far as I knew they were planning on entering the pair skater competition next year, which was awesome. And if my information was not wrong Phichit and Minami were getting close after being like cupids to Yuri and Seung Gil. I even heard they were going to get married and nominated Phichit and Minami as they best man. And I… I returned to skating individually, but this time doing it for my sake. I truly wanted to do it because I liked it; I wanted to be like Yuri who skated because he liked it, not because of a price. I wanted to feel like it was worth it and it did.


End file.
